Friday, 7 February 2014

My Dettol Addiction - 19 Week Pregnancy Update

I've not done an update for a few weeks and that's mainly because I've been feeling a pretty rubbish of late. It's a mixture of loads of things that have been getting me down.  I'm getting bigger, quickly, and these past two weeks I've been drained of pretty much all energy (maybe that's my anemia rearing it's ugly head?) so when I had car trouble at the beginning of this week it really didn't bode well for me.  I have been struggling backwards and forwards from work/school and even though i'm not at the stage where walking is a difficult the extra weight/belly definitely does not make things easy.  The kids school is about two miles from where we live and work is about a ten minute walk from there so it's been hard, the weather has also been a problem because it pretty much hasn't stopped raining all week...mind you I shouldn't complain because my Aunt lives in Devon and they've had a terrible time of it recently with the floods and the winds.  We went and bought a new car last weekend so once we pick that up in 10 days I'm going to go down there for four or five days and see how I can help.  I had a lovely friend come to my rescue yesterday when the rain was especially bad, she gave Grace and I a lift home once I had finished work and then went up and collected the other 3 children from school for's times like that you know who the good people are in the world :-)

I've been feeling rather emotional of late also, I think because of everything else that's going on at the moment it is very easy for me to get overwhelmed and feel like the sky is falling in. When you're carrying a baby that's not your own, that you don't have an emotional connection to, it's easy to concentrate on the shit things that are happening and how awful you feel and not look forward positively to the end result, because it's not my end result..does that even make sense?  I think it's also very easy to feel lonely when you're carrying a surrogate baby, and that's because there are many people out there that understand what it's like.  It probably doesn't help that I've removed myself from quite a few of the surrogacy groups that I was previously a member of, it's too political and controversial to go into here but it's safe to say I don't really like people who think of themselves well above everyone else.

I've not been feeling too well generally this week (aside from the lack of energy), Monday night I was up at about 3.30am with sickness and to be honest I thought that was the start of something quite nasty but it went as soon as it arrived, however on Wednesday I came down with a cold which has really rounded off my crappy week rather nicely! I have always suffered with terrible colds, ever since I was a kid, so I am pretty used to it..but that doesn't make it any more pleasant.  I think it's made worse by the fact I'm not able to dose myself up on half the contents of Boots at the moment, any suggestions to natural relievers of blocked noses/sore throats/stuffy heads would be much appreciated. 

As for the baby, T&F went ahead with the private scan weekend before last to see what gender the baby is, as soon as I saw the screen I knew I had been right all along...yes, it is indeed a little BOY!!  Little M is super excited to be having a little brother and I'm so happy for them all. The next chance they will get to see him is at the next NHS scan at the end of this month.  My Extra Strong Mint cravings haven't subsided any as yet and I've also developed an addiction to cleaning my house with Dettol - I absolutely love the smell.  I suppose there are worse things to be addicted to.

Anyway, that's all I can be arsed to write have got for you this week, hopefully i'll be back next week in a more positive mood.


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